Yuffie's Lethal Candy Canes
by MoogleMage
Summary: Yuffie stars in a commercial to advertise a holiday treat that doubles as a weapon. I finally updated! Chapter 6 is here!
1. Default Chapter

Whee! This is my first attempt at a humor story for Final Fantasy VII. In case anybody is wondering, this was done in collaboration with my friend Ode2Joy who is writing a similar group of stories involving Lord of the Rings characters. Let me know what you think of this insane commercial. If it is well liked I'll continue to make more.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of its characters. I do own the idea of a candy cane that doubles as a bazooka, however.  
  
Yuffie's Lethal Candy Canes  
  
(Scene opens with a family joyfully sitting around the Christmas Tree on Christmas Eve. In the background a very beautiful and thought provoking version of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" played on chimes is oozing from their stereo)  
  
Woman in an overacted and over-enthusiastic voice: Here Kristen! You can open one of your presents tonight since you were such a good girl all year!  
  
(Kristen grabs the parcel with a huge fake smile)  
  
Kristen: Gee thanks, Mom! You're swell!  
  
(Kristen tears open the gift with the intensity of a badger on crack)  
  
Man: What did you get, dear?  
  
(Kristen holds up a teddybear with a candycane in its arms)  
  
Kristen now overacting so much that it seems her eyes are about to burst: Oh my gosh! I love it! You two are the best parents ever!  
  
(There is a sweeping shot of the family looking at each other and smiling in a similar manner to the animatronics at Disneyland)  
  
(Suddenly the stereo spontaneously combusts causing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" to sound all warped and disturbing. Directly after, noises are heard on the roof)  
  
Kristen: What was that, Mom?  
  
Woman: Looks like Santa heard you were a good little girl this year!  
  
Kristen: Yay!  
  
(Santa flomps down the chimney and lands in their fireplace holding a sniper rifle)  
  
Santa in a cheesy tone commonly heard in action movies: Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!  
  
(Kristen chucks the candy cane the teddy bear was holding at him in a last form of defense, but it bounces off of his tummy with a hilariously corny "boing" noise that has been edited in)  
  
(Santa the shoots rifle and the scene freezes and turns to black and white with the bullet in midair)  
  
(Yuffie Kisaragi walks in very solemnly)  
  
Yuffie: Unknown to most, accidents like this happen every year. The executives at Boscov's try to hide it, as not to lose support for their parade, but it was only a matter of time before the truth was revealed.  
  
(Yuffie picks up a normal candycane like the one Kristen threw at Santa and snaps it in half)  
  
Yuffie: Normal candycanes are frail, and although tasty, could not protect you in this most dire situation. But not to fear! There is still a way to fight off that vicious, bearded savage! Introducing Yuffie's Lethal Candy Canes!  
  
(Yuffie smiles and holds up a gigantic candy cane the width of a small tree trunk that is hollowed out to resemble a bazooka)  
  
Yuffie: Yuffie's Lethal Candy Canes were developed by leading scientists in the field of Candy Ballistics and have received 24 US patents!  
  
(Scene cuts to Hojo sitting in his office eating a Lethal Candy Cane)  
  
Hojo: Look at me! I'm a scientist in a white lab coat! Therefore you should trust everything I say, even if I'm not competent or might even just be an actor! And you know what? (swings his arm like a yokel) Yuffie's Lethal Candy Canes get an SAT score of 1600 in deliciousness!  
  
(Scarlet walks into the office)  
  
Scarlet: Hojo, can I borrow-  
  
(Hojo turns around and launches missiles out of the bazooka-like treat leaving a smoldering crater where Scarlet once stood. Hojo smiles at the camera and gives a big thumbs up as the scene fades back to Yuffie in the family's living room)  
  
Yuffie: So if you want to be safe this holiday season.  
  
(Scene unfreezes and we see little Kristen dodge Santa's bullet in a blatant Matrix rip off as Yuffie hands her a Lethal Candy Cane. Kristen fires the Lethal Candy Cane at Santa and after the smoke clears, the next thing you see is a smoking pair of boots.)  
  
Yuffie: Buy Yuffie's Lethal Candy Canes!  
  
(Yuffie turns to the family and they get in a circle and begin to hum "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" like in "A Charlie Brown Christmas")  
  
(As the commercial is fading out Yuffie stops singing and turns to the camera, talking so fast you can barely understand her)  
  
Yuffie: Yuffie's Lethal Candy Canes are illegal in all of the 48 contiguous states for attempts at incinerating George Bush in a fiery wave of holiday cheer. 


	2. Peanut Bitter

Alright! People actually read Yuffie's Lethal Candy Canes! I am so happy! And just as I promised, here is the second commercial, this time staring Vincent! Tell me what you think. More reviews = More stupid commercials!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 7 or any of its characters. I also do not own Skippy Peanut Butter. Nor do I actually wish for anything bad to happen to George Bush.  
  
Peanut Bitter  
  
(Scene opens with a depressed girl sitting in a big comfy armchair watching TV. The camera focuses on the TV and that annoying Skippy peanut butter commercial is on.)  
  
TV: SQUEEZE THE SKIPPY! IT'S THE SKIPPY YOU SQUEEZE!  
  
(The girl sighs and sinks into the back of the chair.)  
  
Depressed Girl, faking gut-hurlingly sappy sadness: Peanut butter is way too happy for somebody like me. I'll never get to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I think I'll just go hang myself now.  
  
(The girl grabs a rope and begins to walk away, but out of nowhere Vincent Valentine appears in front of her with a "ding" noise)  
  
Vincent, in an overly cheerful voice: Wait! Don't hang yourself yet!  
  
(The girl looks into the camera with a shocked expression)  
  
Girl, in false confusion as she holds her hands out: Why?  
  
Vincent: Because someone has finally invented peanut butter for people like us!  
  
(A fake smile appears on the girl's face as if someone pinned it there with a staple gun)  
  
Girl: It doesn't contain any Prozac does it?  
  
(Vincent wags his finger at her with another big phoney smile)  
  
Vincent: No siree! It's completely drug free and it's made with real peanuts!  
  
Girl: Wow! What is this amazing product called?  
  
Vincent: Peanut Bitter!  
  
(The screen changes to a flashing pattern of colors with a jar of Peanut Bitter shaking back and forth in the center)  
  
(Vincent's voice is heard speaking as the Peanut Bitter shakes back and forth)  
  
Vincent: Peanut Bitter is the only all natural peanut butter for the bitter and depressed! Just spread it on some bread and see the exact time and date of your very own death!  
  
(Screen changes back to Vincent and Depressed Girl)  
  
Vincent: See for yourself!  
  
(Vincent grabs a jar of Peanut Bitter and a butter knife as the girl smiles at the camera)  
  
(Vincent spreads the Peanut Bitter on the bread and the camera zooms in on it. Within seconds red numbers appear on the nutty treat)  
  
(Depressed Girl puts her face right up in the camera and gasps)  
  
Vincent: The number on the left is the year you will die, the ones in the middle are the month and day, and the ones on the far right are the time!  
  
Depressed Girl: That's amazing!  
  
Vincent: It sure is!!  
  
Depressed Girl: Does it tell me what I will die from?  
  
Vincent a bit nervously: It certainly won't be food poisoning!!!  
  
Depressed Girl: Yay! Maybe I'll get a drive by shooting!  
  
(Vincent and Depressed Girl both begin to laugh uncontrollably)  
  
(The final scene is of Vincent and Depressed Girl munching happily on the bread covered in Peanut Bitter. As the scene begins to fade out Vincent starts talking again.)  
  
Vincent, so fast you can barely understand him: Peanut Bitter is illegal in all of the 48 contiguous states due to attempts at predicting George Bush's assassination. 


	3. Gashpops

Here we go again! I'm so happy that people are actually enjoying these screwed up little advertisements. Once again I'll say thank you to everyone who reviewed. And I'll also say that if you are a Lord of the Rings fan, read the stuff my friend Ode2Joy writes. It's hi-larious! Anyway, this commercial was a request from someone called Topaz. So I hope I do a decent job and meet up to all of his/her expectations. Review and tell me what you think!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII or Push-pops nor do I wish for anything bad to actually happen to George Bush.  
  
Gash Pops  
  
(The scene opens with two children standing on a city street joyfully ripping open a bag from a candy store like lions ripping open a carcass)  
  
Girl: Oh boy! I'm gonna eat this stale candy corn!  
  
Boy: Well, I'm gonna eat this lollypop shaped like a disembodied foot!  
  
(Some unfitting surfer rock music begins to play as a fast motion clip of the children eating their candy graces the screen)  
  
Girl: Mmm! That was delicious! I feel like my gut is about to burst!  
  
Boy: Let's see what else we have to eat!  
  
(Both of the children smile at the camera and reach their hands into the candy store bag)  
  
Girl: Golly gee! Push-pops!  
  
Boy: Triple flavor Push-pops!  
  
(The boy and the girl look at each other like escaped mental patients and tear off the caps of their Push-pops with deranged smiles)  
  
Girl: Wow! Three exciting colors!  
  
(Just as they are about to lick their new push-pops, a frightening man complete with an eyepatch, a big scar, and a bowler cap appears out of the alleyway with a huge knife that one can easily tell is fake)  
  
Man, sounding as cheesy as can possibly be imagined: Give me all of your money or die! Bwahahahaha!!  
  
Girl: Goodness gracious, David! We're being mugged!  
  
Boy: What ever shall we do, Sis?  
  
Girl: Let's throw our Push-pops at him! Their triple flavor power will render him helpless!  
  
( The boy and the girl chuck their Push-pops at the man and he hunches over and begins to mutter corny revenge sayings to himself.)  
  
(Taking the opportunity, the boy and the girl start off down the street as fast as they can. Hilarious ragtime-type chase music begins to play)  
  
(The boy and the girl run down into a dank, uninviting subway and hide behind a column)  
  
Girl, panting: We should be safe here.  
  
(A drunken hobo stumbles by and fires a shotgun into the ceiling)  
  
Boy, also panting: You're right. This is as safe a place as we could ever find.  
  
(The frightening man appears at the top of the subway stairs and the ragtime music is replaced by the "Halloween" theme)  
  
Girl: Oh no, David! What are we going to do? Our Push-pops didn't stop him! We're going to die! I'll never fulfill my dream of becoming a clock radio repairman!  
  
Boy, sobbing: I just don't know, Sis. If only our Push-pops had contained some kind of legendary six-foot sword. Maybe we would have stood a chance.  
  
(Suddenly a squealing subway train pulls up to the station and the doors slide open. The lighting is done so that the figure standing in the doorway looks like some kind of benevolent supernatural force)  
  
(Sephiroth steps out of the light and begins to talk)  
  
Sephiroth, sounding very neighborly and helpful: Your prayers have been answered, kids! Presenting Gash-pops! The only pushable lollypop with a Masamune right inside!  
  
(The boy and the girl look from one another to Sephiroth over and over again)  
  
Boy: Do Gash-pops have the same great flavors as Push-pops?  
  
Sephiroth: Do they ever! We were careful to illegally replicate the formula down to the very last drop of Sodium Citrate!  
  
Girl: Wow! These new lollipops sound like an amusement park for my mouth, but what will we do about the man who is trying to kill us?  
  
Sephiroth: Never fear, kids! The Masamune within every Gash-pop is guaranteed to impale just about any living creature! Watch this!  
  
(Sephiroth pops open the lid of a Gash-pop and twists the bottom. A huge blade shoots out of the tiny container so fast that Sephiroth almost loses his fingers.  
  
Girl and Boy in unison: Ooh!  
  
(Sephiroth turns around and meets the frightening man in an intimidating fighting stance. With one swift movement the blade goes right through the man's internal organs)  
  
Girl: Golly! Look at him bleed! Our other lollipops could never do that!  
  
(Sephiroth pats the girl on the head)  
  
Sephiroth: That's why they're called Gash-pops, my dear!  
  
(The Girl, the Boy and Sephiroth all begin to laugh hysterically and point at the man who is now bleeding to death)  
  
(As the scene begins to fade out Sephiroth turns to the camera and begins to talk so fast he can barely be understood)  
  
Sephiroth: Gash-pops are illegal in all of the 48 contiguous states for cutting the roof of George Bush's mouth one too many times. 


	4. My Little Hardroll

Hello everyone! It's been a long time, hasn't it? I deeply apologize for how long it has taken me to get this new commercial up. Between school and my new addiction to Final Fantasy XI, a lot of my time has been sapped. But I finally just sat my butt down, glanced at my idea sheet and got to work! So here for your reading pleasure. or scorn, is the next commercial starring Aeris! Don't forget to review!  
  
*By the way, if you are on Final Fantasy XI, look for me, I'm a little Tarutaru black mage called SkyWaltz.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII or Barbie.  
  
My Little Hardroll  
  
(Scene opens with two little girls sitting in a room that's pink to the extent that it looks like the inside of a diseased stomach. They are sitting at a little table upon which there is a toppled tea set and a bunch of Barbie dolls.)  
  
Girl 1: Emily, I'm bored! We've already played every game we possibly can with your Barbies!  
  
Girl 2: But Samantha, Barbie and Ken still haven't taken their trigonometry tests!  
  
Girl 1: That's a boring game too!  
  
(Girl 1 crosses her arms and looks utterly miserable while Girl 2 looks from a trigonometry text book to her Barbie doll with tears forming in her eyes)  
  
Girl 2: Well if you want they can go to calculus.  
  
Girl 1: I don't want to play with your stupid Barbies anymore!  
  
Girl 2, trying to sound really upset and threatening: Well, if you don't like playing with my Barbies maybe we shouldn't be friends!  
  
Girl 1: Fine! I'll just go join the Mafia! At least they play interesting games!  
  
Girl 2: Fine! I hope Al Capone eats you!  
  
(Girl 1 stomps her foot and makes for the door attempting to look pissed off. On her way, she knocks a stack of text books off of Girl 2's shelf. The text books land on a Barbie doll, crushing its leg. The camera zooms in on the Barbie and sad piano music begins to play)  
  
(After a few seconds of showing the Barbie doll, the camera zooms out to show the whole room again. Girl 1 has just about reached the doorway when suddenly Aeris pops out of the tea set on the table and crawls out onto the floor.)  
  
(Aeris gets to her feet and gives a big smile to the camera)  
  
Aeris, sounding all jolly: Hey girls! Whatcha doing?  
  
Girl 2: Samantha doesn't want to be my friend anymore!  
  
(Girl 2 points to Girl 1 and begins to fake cry, but it sounds more like she's having a panic attack)  
  
(Aeris kneels down next to Girl 2 and feigns concern)  
  
Aeris: Why doesn't Samantha want to be your friend anymore?  
  
(Girl 1 speaks before Girl 2 can even open her mouth)  
  
Girl 1: Because I'm tired of playing with her! All we ever do is play with her Barbie dolls!  
  
Aeris: Well, I know what you can play with together!  
  
(The two girls look at one another and then at Aeris with unnaturally wide eyes)  
  
Girl 1 and Girl 2: What?  
  
(Aeris pulls a hardroll with a pink bow out of her pocket and holds it up. There is a dramatic lens flare)  
  
Aeris: It's called My Little Hardroll and it's the hippest doll around!  
  
(The two girls gasp)  
  
Girl 1: What can we do with My Little Hardroll?  
  
Aeris: Lots of things! There are hundreds of accessories! You can buy the Fantasy Deli Playset and take My Little Hardroll for an exciting day of sandwich making, or you can invest your parents' hard earned dollars into the dozens of Fashion Spreads for her!  
  
Girl 2: Fashion Spreads?  
  
(Aeris's fake smile gets even bigger)  
  
Aeris: Yes, Fashion Spreads! Just check out Stylin' Garlic Herb! Or Butter Glam! And if you're really feeling adventurous there's always Jammin' Jelly!  
  
(Aeris waves an extravagantly packaged jar of jelly in front of them and wiggles her fingers to make it seem mysterious and exciting)  
  
Aeris: You also can't forget My Little Hardroll's friends such as Cutey Croissant, Beautiful Bagel, and Dreamy Doughnut!  
  
Girl 2: Wow! My Little Hardroll has more friends than I do!  
  
(Aeris and Girl 1 begin to giggle as a chorus of voices accompanied by a guitar chants "My Little Hardroll" over and over again in an almost hypnotic fashion)  
  
(The next scene is of Girl 1 and Girl 2 standing next to Aeris holding My Little Hardrolls)  
  
Girl 1: Gee Aeris, thanks for saving our friendship! Now I won't have to gun down mobsters!  
  
(Aeris winks at the camera and the scene changes to a picture of My Little Hardroll and all its accessories. As it begins to fade out Aeris begins a voice over)  
  
Aeris, talking so fast you can barely understand her: My Little Hardroll is illegal in all of the 48 contiguous states because of the squabbles Dick Cheyney and George Bush get into over whose is prettier. 


	5. Reality Cookies

OMG I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long! I haven't forgotten about all of you! And I hope you haven't forgotten about me! I finally have another commercial for all of you! I know a lot of you want me to do a Cloud commercial, but I could not resist this idea that popped into my head about Cait Sith and fortune cookies. I promise my next commercial will be Cloud. I just have to decide what to do with him. I've gotten some hilarious ideas through reviews so maybe I'll use one of them. Anyway without further delay I give you Reality Cookies! *Note- Cait Sith will be portrayed as the cat and not Reeve because Shinra employees with goatees frighten me.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own "Final Fantasy VII". Nor do I own "The Twilight Zone".  
  
(Scene opens with a rather pudgy man sitting in a Chinese food restaurant. He has a big stain on his suit and looks all tattered. On his lapel is a big pin made in the same fashion as those stickers they give out at pediatric centers that says "I Lost My Job Today!" He stuffs an eggroll into his mouth forlornly)  
  
Man: I find no comfort in these eggrolls. They're just liars. Crazed lunatics trying to purvey a message of falsity to the world! They try to tell us that everything is wonderful and tasty! But not my life! My life is like those Halloween AppleJacks.  
  
(He smashes his fist on the table causing a little container of soy sauce to fall over and spill onto his pants)  
  
Man: Perhaps my fortune cookie will be a more honest foodstuff.  
  
(He cracks open his fortune cookie and pulls out the paper carefully)  
  
Fortune written on paper: Your coworkers respect your creativity and determination.  
  
(You see a close-up of the man's face. His left eye is twitching and veins can be seen bulging from his forehead)  
  
(The camera zooms back out and he suddenly flips the table and pulls a pick- ax out of his briefcase)  
  
(Various shots of him violently smashing tables and plates of fried rice are shown accompanied by a repetitive track of recorded screams)  
  
(The camera pans to just outside of the Chinese food restaurant where you see Cait Sith sitting on his big ol' moogle acting like that man on the Twilight Zone)  
  
Cait Sith: Robert Robertson. (big pause) Normal businessman turned psycho with no one to blame but his own fortune cookie. (big pause) How can one be driven over the edge by something so small? (big pause) Well, perhaps it's not as little of a deal as you suspected. (big pause) According to Cookie Psychologists, fortune cookies are ranked as the cookie most likely to lie to you. This is even taking into account what would happen if a cookie were made shaped like Bill Clinton's face. Everyone feels the effects of fortune cookie lies. Even. Your. Own. Children. But what if in some alternate, cotton candy- flavored universe where everyone looked like Hitler there were fortune cookies that told you the truth?  
  
(Cait Sith holds up a fortune cookie in his paw/claw/hand/glove/thing)  
  
Cait Sith: Well, you don't have to open a rift in the space-time continuum to get an honest cookie. Presenting Reality Cookies. The only fortune cookie that will actually tell you the truth. Let's see how Mr. Robertson could have been helped had he eaten one of these instead.  
  
(You see Mr. Robertson sitting in the Chinese Restaurant again. He cracks open his Reality Cookie)  
  
Fortune in cookie: You are a deadbeat loser incapable of keeping a job for more than one month. Commit suicide and spare the world the pain of looking at you. Your lucky color is blue.  
  
(You see happy tears form in Mr. Robertson's eyes)  
  
Mr. Robertson: Finally some honesty! I can die with renewed faith in mankind!  
  
(Raises his hand into the air)  
  
Mr. Robertson: To the Suicide Mobile! Awayyyyyy!  
  
(Mr. Robertson dashes out of the restaurant and the camera goes back to Cait Sith)  
  
Cait Sith: A much happier ending, wouldn't you say? You cannot deny that you want scalding honesty from your food. No one can. So fill that void in your life and buy Reality Cookies.  
  
(You hear the screech of tires in the background as the camera starts to fade out)  
  
Cait Sith voiceover really fast as the screen is going black: Reality Cookies are illegal in all of the 48 contiguous states because George Bush would never be able to handle how the nation really feels about him. 


	6. Turkey Stuffing

Well, you all thought I was dead, didn't you? Well, let me just tell you what you have to blame for the lack of updates to this story. Number one, FFXI. This game has been leeching away all my spare time and money (name's Skywaltz on Quetzalcoatl server, if you see me say hi!). Number two, lack of ideas. Yeah, I was supposed to come up with something for Cloud, and a lot of half baked ideas were floating through my skull, but I didn't know where to go with any of them. Number three, sheer laziness. Well anyway, my little rebirth can also be credited to a recent review I received. Thank you Nyacha for rekindling my writing spirit. You may have saved this fanfic! So here we go with your idea about the Turks and stuffing!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 7 nor do I actually wish for anything bad to happen to Geoge W. Bush.  
  
Turk-ey Stuffing  
  
(Scene opens with a family sitting around a big ol' mahogany dining room table. All the stereotypical family members are there. From Grandpa with a twinkle in his eye, to Cute Little All Purpose Girl complete with a rag doll and pigtails. You see Grandma reenact that Norman Rockwell painting as she places a plump roasted turkey before the family)  
  
Well-Dressed-Business-Man-Uncle: Wow, Grandma! That looks like the best Thanksgiving turkey ever! It smells so good I feel like my nose is going to leap off my face and hand me a greeting card!  
  
(Grandma adjusts her spectacles and smiles warmly)  
  
Grandma: Well, it was baked with all my love for the family.  
  
(The table chuckles too boisterously for human lungs and Atticus-Finch-Rip- Off-Father stands up and ambles over to the bird to cut it. You see all these shots of the turkey from different angles, making it look like something you'd sell your own legs just to taste. As the turkey is cut you see stuffing spill out, but it's not souped-up and delicious looking like the bird itself, it looks black and white and boring thanks to the use of a camera filter.)  
  
Cute-Little-All-Purpose-Girl: Grandma? What is that stuff inside the turkey? Is it possessed?  
  
Grandma: Why no, Hun, that's the stuffing.  
  
Grandpa: It looks all dried out and soggy at the same time!  
  
Slim-Earring-Wearing-Aunt: Thanks for ruining Thanksgiving, Grandma! That stuffing isn't fit to feed a meat grinder!  
  
Cute-Baseball-Card-Carrying-All-Purpose-Boy: We can't eat that turkey!  
  
Atticus-Finch-Rip-Off-Father: Well, we have to eat something!  
  
(Everyone looks at Grandma voraciously and reaches for their fancy silverware, but just at that moment, the door flies off its hinges and who is standing there but the Turks!)  
  
Reno: Hold on, there's no need for cannibalism!  
  
Well-Dressed-Businessman-Uncle, with the over enthusiasm we've all become so accustomed to: There's not?  
  
Elena: Nope! Not with our amazing new product!  
  
(Everyone drops their silverware and gapes at the Turks)  
  
Whole Family: What is it?  
  
Tseng: Turk-ey Stuffing! The only stuffing that never becomes boring even after years of serving!  
  
(The camera focuses on Rude holding a brightly-colored box with a logo of the Turks dressed like pilgrims)  
  
Grandma: You can't keep stuffing from getting boring! That's like trying to keep white sneakers clean!  
  
Reno in the most cheery of tones: Well, don't just stand there being a hated skeptic! Try some!  
  
(A lump of the stuffing appears on Grandma's plate with the sound of windchimes. It looks the same as normal stuffing)  
  
Grandma: This doesn't seem so special.  
  
(Grandma shovels a forkful of Turk-ey Stuffing into her mouth and she immediately falls backwards in her chair racked with spasms as lightning dances across her body. Once the lightning stops, Grandma gets up looking all charred)  
  
Grandma: Wow! That really is exciting stuffing! The ashes in my mouth that were once my tongue are jumping up and down with delight!  
  
(Everyone at the table cheers the Turks on as they dish up more Turk-ey Stuffing)  
  
Whole Family: Thanks, Turks!  
  
Elena: And be sure to also try our new pumpkin pie! It comes dressed in its very own blue suit!  
  
(As the scene fades out Rude holds up a sign with tiny lettering that reads: Turk-ey Stuffing is illegal in all of the 48 contiguous states for causing tumors in lab mice and Republican presidents)  
  
; Sorry it was kind of short, but I'm still trying to get back into the swing of things. I hope you enjoyed it anyway. 


End file.
